Guilty and Ashamed
I just came across a gentleman publically admitting to feeling ashamed and guilty for being a 'John'. I am so sad for him to have been made to feel like that, and for whatever those circumstances were.
But please don't ever feel guilty and ashamed for contacting me or spending time with me! There are a lot of judgements and stereotypes out there about what 'this is' that simply don't apply to me. They just don't. When I'm first contacted by someone who gives any indication at all of them feeling guilt or shame, I tell them we are not compatible. Period. You gotta work that shit out and be in a good place if you want to spend time with me, because I'm in a good place! Regardless your personal details and life circumstances. Regardless your reasons and motivations to reach out to me.
We are two adults who have valuable stuff to share with each other. Lots of valuable stuff. And this happens to be how we have found each other. It's a beautiful thing. It's an opportunity. It can be a very healthy and healing experience for everyone!